After the Miami Heat eliminated the Milwaukee Bucks in the first round, a reporter asked two-time NBA regular season MVP/2021 NBA Finals MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo if he considered this season to be a failure. Antetokounmpo's answer is, as TNT's Kenny Smith later put it, a masterclass or TED Talk:
You asked me the same question last year, Eric. Do you get a promotion every year? No, right? So, every year you work is a failure? Yes or no? No. Every year you work, you work toward something--toward a goal--which is to get a promotion, to be able to take care of your family, to be able to provide a house for them or take care of your parents. You work toward a goal. It's not a failure. It's steps to success. If you've never--I don't want to make it personal.
Michael Jordan played 15 years. Won six championships. The other nine years was a failure? That's what you're telling me? I'm asking you a question...Exactly, so why you ask me that question? It's the wrong question. There's no failure in sports. There's good days, bad days, some days you are able to be successful, some days you are not, some days it is your turn, some days it's not. That's what sports is about. You don't always win. Some other group is gonna win, and this year somebody else is gonna win. Simple as that. We’re gonna come back next year and try to be better, try to build good habits, try to play better--not have a 10 day stretch of playing bad basketball. Hopefully we can win a championship.
So, 50 years from 1971 to 2021 that we didn't win a championship, it was 50 years of failure? No, it was not. There were steps to it. And we were able to win one and hopefully we can win another one.
Sorry, I didn't want to make it personal, because you asked me the same question last year, and last year I wasn't in the right mind space to answer the question back--but I remember it.
TNT's Inside the NBA crew just had a heartfelt discussion about what Antetokounmpo said. Charles Barkley recalled that when he grew up in the projects of Leeds, Alabama he could have never imagined living the life that he has lived. He rightly considers himself to be a great success, and he refuses to be defined by not winning an NBA title. Barkley feels sorry for anyone who defines himself by what he did in sports, because sports is a very small part of life.
Shaquille O'Neal offered a different perspective. He said that he grew up with a military background, and based on that background he has a simple definition of success versus failure: if you accomplished the mission then you succeeded, and if you did not accomplish the mission then you failed. He emphasized that he is not criticizing or disrespecting Antetokounmpo and he added that failure is not necessarily a bad thing because often you must fail before you succeed. O'Neal said that as the number one overall pick in the NBA Draft he felt that his mission was to be the most dominant big man and to win a championship every year, so he is OK with being told that he was only successful during the four years that he won NBA titles.
Kenny Smith said that Antetokounmpo had given a TED Talk for adults in terms of how to think about their lives and put things in proper perspective. Smith suggested that O'Neal's definition of success versus failure is accurate but incomplete. Smith said that each person should ask himself if he took every necessary step that he was supposed to take. If you have taken every step that you were supposed to take, then you did not fail. You may be disappointed with the outcome, but that is not the same as failure. Smith said that after hearing Antetokounmpo's answer, he now understands why Antetokounmpo and Russell Westbrook play so hard every possession of every game: they know that they cannot control the outcome of the game, but they can control taking every step that they are supposed to take.
By nature, my attitude is more like the one that O'Neal expressed: if you have the necessary talent to dominate, then every time you don't dominate is a failure. My second grade teacher, Miss Day, said that I put way more pressure on myself than anyone else did; I turned everything into a competition, and I was very driven to win every competition. Some of us are just hard-wired to be very intense, very driven, very competitive. Such people view anything less than dominance as abject failure. Think about Bill Russell winning two NCAA titles, an Olympic gold medal, and then capturing 11 NBA titles in 13 seasons. That does not just happen; that is a product of a laser focus on domination, and a deep inner belief that you can never win enough to be satisfied.
It is funny to hear O'Neal take this position on failure now, because the main thing that he and Kobe Bryant used to feud about as teammates was that Bryant did not think that O'Neal worked hard enough to be dominant; Bryant tried to destroy everybody not just in every game, but in every practice, while O'Neal may have aspired to that mentality but he did not live it in terms of work: O'Neal is not cut from the same mold as Antetokounmpo or Westbrook--or Bryant. Everyone wants to win--but few people will suffer to win. Bill Russell used to throw up before every game. Bryant played through an assortment of injuries that would sideline most current NBA players for weeks or months. People like that don't talk about how much they want to win nearly as much as they show how much they want to win through their behaviors, their habits, and their willingness to suffer to win.
As I get older, I am starting to understand that it is healthy to have a growth mindset like the one that Anteotkounmpo expressed and that such a mindset is not incompatible with being fiercely competitive. Anyone who listens to what Antetokounmpo said and concludes that Antetokounmpo is not competitive enough or does not care about winning missed the point. The key concept to grasp--as Smith noted--is that we are all responsible for taking all of the steps that we can take to get the best possible outcome. After we do that, we can accept what happened--and if we are disappointed by the outcome, then we can learn from it and do more work. Note that Antetokounmpo repeatedly mentioned the steps to the process, the building of correct habits, and doing the work so that his team can win a title next year. Of course Antetokounmpo is disappointed that the Bucks did not win the NBA title--but he does not view himself as a failure because losing is part of sports and part of life.
Antetokounmpo is remarkably mature for someone so young who is at the top of such a competitive profession. I am much older than he is, but I may not have reached that level of maturity.
In Turning Failure Into Success, I wrote, "Julius Erving endured six years of frustrating playoff setbacks before winning an NBA championship and throughout that period he stayed true to his core belief: 'I've always tried to tell myself that the work itself is the thing, that win, lose or draw, the work is really what counts. As hard as it was to make myself believe that sometimes, it was the only thing I had to cling to every year--that every game, every night, I did the best I could.'"
That is what Antetokounmpo is talking about--not accepting losing, but accepting outcomes as they happen while also learning, growing, and continuing to do everything possible to obtain better outcomes.
Ernie Johnson and Barkley emphasized another important point: Antetokounmpo took great pains to not personally attack or insult the questioner. When Antetokounmpo said, "If you've never..." and then stopped himself, you could tell that he was about to say something about that reporter never doing something at an elite level--but then Antetokounmpo switched gears, and used Michael Jordan as an example. At the end of his answer, Antetokounmpo again emphasized that he did not want to make his answer personal. Smith noted that Antetokounmpo tried very hard to make this a teaching moment. It was beautiful to watch Antetokounmpo try to educate the reporter instead of just belittling him.
I think that Antetokounmpo provided great insight into the thought process of someone who, by virtue of hard work, intelligence, and toughness--rose from poverty to becoming the best in the world at his craft.
It will be a shame if people misunderstand or misinterpret his message.